Good afternoon my lovelies.  I know I’ve been lax again but things came up and I’m just now getting home again.  Luckily, cell phones travel so any chance that I had to speak to my kids was not missed.  My days are revolving around that now.  When might the kids get to call?  And any, and every, thing and one is dropped if that call comes through.  Nothing else is more important.

I’m left with some questions though.  They’ll stay with me for the time being.  But I’m also left with a lot of guilt.  The last two times I spoke with them, first my youngest son and then my youngest daughter, the next night, started crying when it was time to hangwp-1454831517741.gif up.  I fully believe they need to hear that I love them, miss them and want them to come home.  The problem is that they miss me too and I have no answers for them as to when I’ll get to see them again.

Am I being selfish wanting whatever form of contact I can get with them or am I exercising my God given right as a mother?  The absolute very last thing I want for them is to hurt or be sad.  And I surely don’t want to be the cause of it.  I truly don’t want any of us to hurt, or at least not more than naturally comes from these type of situations.  But then who am I, right? lol

I guess I’m bordering on maybe being hopeful again for some agreeable outcome.  Not everyone is going to be completely happy.  Not everyone is going to get exactly what they want but maybe there’s some acceptable routine that can come from what’s left of everything that was.  What counts is that the kids can still be loved, happy and taken care of.  In the end that’s all that matters anymore.

Advertisements