Good morning my loves.  I’m feeling very grateful today.  I’ve got coffee, cream and sugar.  Cigarettes aren’t a concern right now.  The rent is all good now along with all the bills and I’ve got a car again.  The weather outside is dark and rainy the way I like it.  Things have fireflowerfairy.jpgbeen much, much worse.  This time last week my situation was dire and fairly pathetic.  I was worried where I was going to live when the eviction came though and I was bumming cigarettes.

Thank God that’s not the case anymore.  Now I can try to start over with my plan of action before my purse was stolen and I crashed my truck.  And that’s not a bad place to start from.  I thought everything would be ok then and now that I have the opportunity again, I still think it will.  I’ve just got to be very cognizant of what I’m doing so I don’t screw up anymore.  Before every decision I’ve got to think about all of the possible outcomes an pick accordingly.

So now if my kids were here, everything would be pretty close to perfect.  I don’t expect perfect, don’t even really hope for it but I can be happy without things being perfect.  Normal for us is an acceptable thing to want and hope for and that’s all I want.  And normal would be for my kids to be home with me like they have beentheir whole lives up until the last while.  Everyday I call to see them or at least speak to them but that’s not being allowed and I don’t want to do anything drastic because that would only upset them.  They’ve had enough upset.

So I’ll deal with this feeling of loss until they’re where they belong again.  And I’ll be thankful for the positive things that are happening now.  I don’t think there’s another choice.  My options are limited to begin with.  So with some positivity and hope maybe, just maybe, I’ll get though this one.

 

Advertisements