Good morning my loves.  Sorry that I’ve been absent the past few days but I had a car accident, which I believe I mentioned already, and my hands are still two throbbing appendages at the ends of my arms.  They’re not the only things that still hurt but, trustwp-1454831534001.gif me, unless something else is really damaged, you’ll notice that pain in particular the most and realize how much you use your hands when every movement is almost cringe worthy.  Something simple, like lighting a cigarette, becomes an important decision.  Do I really want to have to use a lighter?  Thankfully I have some cigarettes because a very generous friend went far out of his way to give me some of his.  And I have some coffee too; just saying.  So there have definitely been worse mornings.

I’m stuck in a bit of a quandary, my friends.  One is, I changed all my stuff to private but somehow, “someone” is still getting into it.  So that leads to the second problem:  Do I write as openly as I always do?  Or do I temper what I have to say?  I’m not going to lie, but do I hold back?  And what do I refer to him as when “him” doesn’t fit the sentence and “the common interest” seems to piss him off and pissing him off only makes my already problematic life more difficult?  I guess I’ll just write what comes naturally and see where it goes.

So last night there was a pretty heavy thunderstorm.  I fell asleep to the soothing baritone rumble of thunder, rain hitting my doors and windows and the occasional flash of lighting through and from under my blinds.  It was nice but for me, a thunderstorm with no one around makes me lonely.  It would have been great for my kids to have been here with me, like he promised, but they weren’t and I don’t know why.  I call everyday to see or talk to my kids and since Saturday, I’ve spoken to two of them for a total 3 minutes and 45 seconds and haven’t seen them once.  I think I might know why but for my own well-being, I will keep that bit to myself.

Anyway, I just wanted to touch base.  I’ve been told some of you are worried about me.  I’m not used to that and never expected it but please know that I’m grateful.  Thank you guys again for your love and care and help.  Truly, I do appreciate it so very much.  So many of you have told me not to worry, that things will get better after I weather this storm, that I can only believe it.  And it seems that this storm I’m not going through alone.  Thank you.

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