Good morning my loves.  I burned the crap out of my throat with my coffee this morning.  Oh well.  It was worth it.  If I can’t get some good sleep soon, I’ll have to up the strength of my blend.  That means upping the bitterness too though and I’m not a big fan of extra bitter coffee.  That’s probably why I use so much cream and sugar.

I did get a little bit of sleep last night.  Finally.  But I was having weird dreams.  They’re fading now but there was an overwhelming sense of unease that ran throughout it all.  That’s staying with me so far.  That and the hearse at the end.  I was driving along behind wp-1456916386816.jpegit up a winding road.  Of course I’ve checked on the meaning of this in a couple of dream dictionaries and it seems as if that actually isn’t a bad thing.  Like in Tarot card readings, the hearse, like the Death card, in my case is a change or end of some portion of my life.  The fact that the road was smooth and my car went uphill with no problems is positive.

Plus, in my morbid way, I like hearses.  I take seeing them in real life as a sign of good luck for the day.  Death does not always mean literal death.  Most often it means a change, a new phase of life, the end of something and acceptance of that.  It’s actually considered to be good luck to not fight the change that’s coming.  There’s no sense in me fighting this too hard anyway.  I’m not saying I’ll just give up.  I haven’t done that yet.  But I’ve been told that there are no expectations or promises for the future as of yet so I have to believe that and just take what’s coming, wait it out and see what happens after this.

The fact that I’m coming to the end of my time in this house and the end of my marriage, must certainly have something to do with it.  I’m not happy about this but I know it’s happening.  I’ve been locked on this life path and there’s no getting off of it now.  That has to be accepted.  I’m not sure about what will come after this stage of my life is all the way over and that scares me but it’s definitely going to be different.  Maybe, hopefully, it will be better.  And, hey, at least I was only following the hearse; I wasn’t in it.

Advertisements