Good morning my darlings.  The coffee has just finished brewing, I’ve cleaned up a bit around here and it’s time to chill for a minute and have a drink and a smoke.  Things are seemingly continuing to go well.  I hope they do.  I wish there was some way to ensure that they do.  I’m grateful for what’s been happening.  But I’m in terror of the other boot dropping.  There’s no room for screwing up.  I guess the best thing for me to do is be thankful for what good has come and keep my head down, move forward and try not to get derailed somehow.wp-1454831517741.gif

I went on an interview yesterday and they want me to come back in for a second one.  That’s got to be a good sign, right?  And tomorrow I can get the keys to the townhouse and start moving some of my stuff.  I’ve got to get insurance and the BGE turned on first.  I’ll do that later today.  After my doctor’s appointment I guess.  I think I’m going to need to get some stuff for the house.  The kids are going to need nightstands for their rooms and what not.  I’d like to get some new end tables, a coffee table and some lamps.  It’ll have to be a piece at a time though.  I’m kind of excited but I’m also kind of afraid to be.

Is it twisted that I want to be happy but am completely afraid to be?  I’ve never been able to just relax into a good moment.  I’ve never done it on my own either.  Being a team player has always been my way.  I could probably have another teammate but I don’t want one.  I mean, I do but not the ones that are offering.  Their fine for friends and stuff but there’s only one person that I really want on my team and like I’ve said before, that person comes and goes.  The only thing I can think to do about that is to let that situation run it’s course and stay moving forward on mine.  I think I’m getting better as a person, taking responsibility for things and trying to improve.  If everything goes well I’ll become appealing to someone that I find appealing one day.  Either way I will never be in this situation again.

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