Good morning my darklings.  It’s icy and cold but I’ve got coffee and cigarettes.  The schools are closed again but I’ve got snacks, TV’s and computers.  So it might be alright.  Everyone’s getting a little stir crazy.  After an eventful Saturday and being sort of stood up Sunday, a pretty much snowed in Monday and following it up with this today…I can’t say I blame them.  I’m lucky everyone has gotten along so well this far.  I’ll have to be inventive today to keep the peace.

That’s ok though.  Things could be worse.  This time last month, they were.  So I’m still grateful for the way things are now.  Things aren’t great but I’ve had enough crap to appreciate it not being that way at this point.  wp-1455436453785.png

I’ve learned a great big lesson over the last year.  Be very, very careful where I place my trust.  It’s a lesson I’m still learning really, I guess, because it’s just my nature to trust people.  I generally don’t go in to things expecting people to be misleading.  Especially not the people that I counted among my most trusted but it seems that is a fact in most cases.  My absolute most trusted and closest, or who once was, will lie, omit and twist things.  Half yeses or nos.  Then hiding.  I just don’t get all of that when telling the truth would be so much easier for everyone involved.

There’s got to be some easier way to get over this.  I just keep getting betrayed over and over in minor and major ways and I allow it to happen.  That’s just stupid.  And I’m not a stupid person.  My ability to love and trust have been obliterated and are scarring over.  I don’t think it’s going to be a scar that can be hidden either.  It’s not going to be quirky, something possibly oddly attractive.  It’s going to make me cold eventually.  I hope.  That way it won’t hurt anymore.

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