Good morning my lovelies.  Happy Valentine’s Day.  This will be the first one in over 13 years that I’m spending without a significant other.  I’m not sure how I feel about that right now.  I’m not crying so that’s a bonus.  I’m not really happy about it either.  With a girlfriend in another state, he’s alone too.  And except for his belief in his dislike of me, there’s no reason either of us should have to be alone.  I actually dreamed about it lastwp-1453971201383.gif night.  That was a first.

I did receive a gift yesterday that did not come from one of my kids.  That was unexpected but a very nice surprise.  I took the kids bowling yesterday and then out to eat.  As I was going to pay the waitress informed me that someone had bought dinner for us already as a Valentine’s gift to me.  There wasn’t anyone there that I recognized so I have no idea who it could have been and the waitress couldn’t tell me.  I thought it was nice.  Some other people thought it was creepy/scary and asked if I noticed anyone following us home (us being me and the kids).

The rest of today will probably be spent doing loads of romantic laundry.  I’ll look at past gifts and reminisce I guess.  Or maybe the kids will be elsewhere and I’ll go out with someone.  No sense in being lonely if I don’t have to be.  Right.  I’m tired of loneliness and being rejected by the person I want when it seems like other people are willing to pay me some attention.

Oh who am I kidding?  I’m not going to go anywhere with anyone today.  It will probably be me the kids and the dog sitting here.  I’m almost positive that I could make a change if I was given a chance.  I’d like to try but I’m pretty tired of putting myself out there and things going poorly, as well.  It’s still early.  The sun isn’t even up yet.  Maybe cupid will be good to me this year.  Last year among all of the presents I asked him if that meant he loved me.  His response was, “I got you presents, didn’t I?”  In retrospect I guess that actually meant no.