Good morning my lovelies.  I was seriously considering going back to bed but I wanted coffee just too badly to do it.  How twisted is that?  It might have something to do with the fact that I can’t eat and at least coffee tastes good and fills the hole without making me sick.  I have to say that’s enjoyable.  You just can’t live on cigarettes and antacids. wp-1454311944364.gif Trust me on that one.

So here’s the stupid stuff.  Last night I told someone that I love them.  It’s different than it used to be.  I don’t want what it was and the timing could have been better but it’s still the truth.  If you can’t be honest about that kind of stuff you probably can’t be honest at all.  And I do miss that person.  I miss my friend.  It’s very nice to get attention and compliments from people again but I don’t find that stuff as fulfilling as just getting along with him.

I have to wonder though when I’m spoken about, am I referred to in pronouns as well?  Am I “her” or “she” or “that person” too?  Am I “that bitch”? lol  Not that it really matters I guess.  Saying someone’s name is very personal.  Well, I think it is.  There’s a level of trust involved with giving someone permission to use your first name.  It’s like making eye contact to me.  If you’re willing to look someone in the eyes while you speak to them, you’re being open and honest.  You’re trusting that it’s ok to do that.  That you don’t have to hide anything.  Now that I think about it, there’s also a big level of trust in accepting someone’s last name as your own too.  Maybe I should have thought about this some more first.