Good morning my lovely darklings.  I have a fresh cup of coffee to go along with this new post.  I made a pot this time.  Just because I can go get coffee doesn’t mean I should always go get a coffee.  This budgeted living stuff is crap.  I’m not used to it and don’t particularly like it but it’s ok.  Everything is going to be ok.  Besides, if I savedoorway witch and wolf some money making coffee at home and it allows for me to still afford cigarettes, that’s the way to go.  Me without coffee isn’t fun but I generally won’t freak out on anyone.  Me in the middle of a nicotine fit is not a pretty sight.

As of this morning, I have about two months to find somewhere else to live.  That is kind of scary but I’ve been doing a lot of stuff lately that I found scary and gotten through it so I have to assume that I’ll get through this too.  Or, as I was told yesterday by someone, I’ll be living in the car I just bought.  Not a promising prospect right there.  Don’t worry.  That someone will not let that happen.  Frustration causes hasty words that can be mean but not really meant.

I’ll start work on packing and cleaning soon.  I’ll make some phone calls and see what can be done.  Time keeps moving forward so I have to as well.  I just have to look at the upside of things.  I went from my mother’s house to my husband’s house with no stops in between for a place of my own.  When most people were getting their first apartments and venturing out on their own, I was getting married and having babies.  Those were my life decisions.  Now I get to experience that whole place of my own thing in my thirties.  I’ll get to experience both sides of the coin.

Screwing up is just not an option for me.  Hopefully that won’t happen.  I doubt that it will and I doubt that if I start to there won’t be someone around to help.  Not that I’m taking anything or anyone for granted but if I fail that starts a domino effect that no one wants to deal with.  And I definitely don’t want to deal with the fallout from those dominos going down.

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